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Points of View: Alexandra Matiella Novak October 14, 2006 Guest Column © 2006 Alexandra Matiella Novak. Photos  © 2006 Michele Anderson. The text of this column appeared recently in Off the Beaten Path, the newsletter of the Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter. Reprinted with permission. Editor's Note: Alexandra Matiella Novak gave this talk at the Walk Against Violence on July 19, 2006, in Houghton. The Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home and the Copper Country Humane Society collaborated on a special project to raise awareness about family violence that includes pets. Participants in the event included over 95 people and 38 dogs. Matiella Novak will again share her experience at the upcoming Candlelight Ceremony for Survivors of Domestic Violence to be held at 7:30 p.m. Monday, Oct. 16, at St. Albert the Great Catholic Church in Houghton. The public is invited to share music, speakers and poetry at the event and to show support in mourning victims, celebrating survivors and reaffirming the struggle for a non-violent future. Those who wish to join a walk after the ceremony are asked to bring a candle or flashlight.

Walking Against Violence

By Alexandra Matiella Novak*

I want to thank you all for being here today. Seeing all your faces in the crowd shows that this community really cares about ending violence in the home. Today we are addressing a major problem in our society. More and more studies are telling us that animal abuse and domestic violence come hand in hand, so it makes sense that we have invited all our four-legged friends to show support for this cause.

Alexandra Matiella Novak speaks to participants during the July 2006 Walk Against Violence, sponsored by both the Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home and the Copper Country Humane Society. Over 95 people and 38 dogs marched through Houghton at the event to show support for victims of family violence, including pets. Novak will also speak at the Oct. 16 Candlelight Ceremony. (Photo © 2006 Michele Anderson)

I am a Michigan Tech graduate student and I am a survivor of domestic violence. I want to make it very clear to you that I did not want to be in an abusive relationship. Women and children never want to be abused. And just like there is no certain type of animal that is more at risk for being abused, there is no type of woman who is more at risk for being a victim of domestic violence. Domestic violence can happen to any woman, no matter her race, education, economic status or religion. There are many reasons women don’t leave abusive partners. There were many reasons I didn’t leave mine. The two main reasons for me were that I felt an obligation to him and I was also afraid of him. The combination of these two reasons was very powerful, and he was able to maintain control over me. 

Shalini Suryanarayana, Gundlach Shelter Board member and one of the organizers of the July 2006 Walk Against Violence, addresses the crowd gathered near the Houghton waterfront for the Walk. Suryanarayana, winner of the 2006 Heart and Hands Award, designated her award to this Walk. (Photo © 2006 Michele Anderson)

I understand what an abused animal must feel like. I know the confusion of being punished and not knowing why. I understand the helpless feeling of submitting to your abuser so that the violence can stop. When an animal is abused, we never say that the animal did something to deserve that abuse. We never say that the animal needs to change in order for the abuse to stop. Just like it’s never the animal’s fault that they are the victim of abuse, it is never the woman’s fault either. 

Now we see that abused animals and abused women are connected. We see studies showing us that women in abusive relationships will sometimes not leave their partner for fear that the abuser will act out against a pet. And this does happen. I’ve read stories about women at shelters being sent pictures of their dead or tortured animals. One story in particular was about a woman who was sent pictures showing the abuser cutting off her dog’s ears. In order to save her pet's life, she went back to her abuser. This just increases the control that the abuser has over the victim. It’s another reason not to leave. But now, because of a partnership between the Gundlach Shelter and the Humane Society, this doesn’t have to be a reason anymore.

Kristine Bradof and her dog, Keeper, join the July 2006 Walk Against Violence. The Houghton police provided traffic control for safety during the Walk, which began and ended at Bridgeview Park on the Houghton waterfront. Participants, including pets, received commemorative bandanas like the red one Bradof is wearing. As a member of the Houghton City Planning Commission, Bradof introduced the ordinance that says pet owners must clean up after their dogs. (Photo © 2006 Michele Anderson)

The mission statement for the Gundlach Shelter is to eradicate domestic violence in Houghton, Keweenaw and Ontonagon County. This is our goal, but we can’t do it on our own. We need the community to help. And now, with this partnership, we are giving women more control over their situation and helping them to survive.

Now that I’ve talked about not having control, I want to talk about who does have control. It is time for us as a society to stop thinking about domestic violence as a women’s problem. It is a problem for all of us. We are now addressing the fact that it is an animal cruelty problem as well. If you care about life, you will try to end domestic violence. If you care about your community, you will try to end domestic violence. And the best way to end domestic violence is to stop it in the home.

Many of us feel that what goes on in someone else’s home is none of our business. Well, that is just wrong and ignorant. Domestic violence never stays in the home. It may not impact you directly, but it does impact our community. If you know a man who abuses his family, but has never done anything to you, it is hard to resent that man. It is hard to hold him accountable if his actions have never hurt you. But his actions will find a way into our community. Many children who live in abusive homes grow up and become abusers themselves. And even as children, they will abuse animals and become school bullies who occupy the same schools as our children. This is a problem for our community and we must stand together as a community to address it. We must hold abusers accountable for their actions, because one day they will negatively affect us.

Organizers of the July 19, 2006, Walk Against Violence pause with their pets during their Walk along the Houghton waterfront. Pictured, from left, are Diane Trudgeon, Humane Society Board member, with Rosco (a dog seeking adoption at the time); Alex Matiella Novak and her dog Daisy; Mary Ann Schulze from WMPL and MIX 93, with Squeegie; Emily Newhouse, Gundlach Shelter Home director; Shalini Suryanarayana and her dog Buddie; Teresa Woods, Humane Society volunteer (her dog Chester not pictured). (Photo © 2006 Michele Anderson)

I implore you all today to go out and speak against domestic violence, which encompasses violence against our pets as well since studies show that they are related. Don’t turn a blind eye if you see domestic violence; it will one day affect you or your family. If you know a woman who is in trouble, let her know that there are resources available for her. If you know a woman who is afraid to leave because she doesn’t want to leave a pet behind, let her know that the Humane Society can take the animal and the animal will be safe there. Let her know that she has choices and she doesn’t have to be afraid or feel like she is out of control any more.

Unfortunately, I did not know about the Gundlach Shelter Home when I was being abused. To escape from the violence, I would many times spend my nights wandering around Wal-Mart or would spend the night in my office on campus. I didn’t know that there was a safe place for me. And this is why I am here today, to spread the word about the resources that are available.

Gustavo Bourdieu of Hancock and Gordito, Keweenaw Now's official mascot, joined the July 2006 Walk Against Violence near the Houghton waterfront. (Photo © 2006 Michele Anderson)

And I know that is why all of you are here today as well. You all want safe homes for our pets and our families. Ultimately, that is why I left my abuser. I knew that if I stayed with him and we had children, he would abuse them. If I stayed with him and we had a dog, he would abuse that dog. And when I look at my dogs today and see that there are so happy in their safe home it makes me happy that I made the right decision. By leaving my abusive partner, I have made a happy and safe home for my pets and for my future children.

But there are still some in the community that I am worried about. I worry that not enough people see the devastating impact domestic violence has on our children and on our community. Crimes in this community are committed by people who grew up in an abusive home. The bullying that goes on in our middle and high schools is done by children who see the abuse in their homes. So, it is up to all of us here to make sure people do understand. If we could say one thing against domestic violence everyday, eventually we may be able to change some minds. If we could get as much information out there as possible, imagine who may stumble upon it and use it to save a life. No, domestic violence is not a woman’s problem. It is a child’s problem, it is a pet’s problem, and it is a community’s problem. And we are standing here today to let all the abusers in this community know that we will no longer tolerate the abuse of our families, pets and ultimately our community.

*Editor's note:  Alexandra Matiella Novak is a graduate student at Michigan Technological University and a Children's Worker for the Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home.

Note: Views expressed by our guest columnists are not necessarily the views of Keweenaw Now.